“YOU. YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING, MAN,” Calvin said. “I FUCKING LOVE THIS. WHAT IS THIS, YOU KNOW. I’VE NEVER EVEN SEEN SNOW BEFORE.”
He stopped and looked around. “I DON’T EVEN… I MEAN, WHERE ARE WE.”
Hobbes smiled.
“HOBBES, DUDE,” Calvin said, “THIS IS MENTAL, DUDE. LET’S BUILD A FUCKING SNOWMAN. LET’S MAKE A TOBOGGAN AND DO SOME JUMPS!” He peered through the snow and tried to figure out where the shed was.
“DUDE, DUDE. WHERE DID YOU SAY WE WERE?” He looked at Hobbes. “H-MAN. TALK TO ME. Don’t you think we should head back?”
Once again, Hobbes said nothing.
Calvin started to feel a little nervous. He’d never seen Hobbes like this before. “Hobbes, man, come on. Knock it off. It’s snowing, dude. What if we can’t see our footprints on the way back?”
Hobbes turned to him. “We’re not going back,” he said quietly.
“Bro, what?” Calvin said, pulling his jacket tighter around him. “It’s fucking snowing and I’m getting pretty fucking cold over here and you’re not even wearing any fucking pants.” Calvin noticed that Hobbes had tears in his eyes, and as he watched the tears cracked and went translucent and Calvin realised that they’d just frozen in front of him.
Hobbes held his shoulders. “Calvin. You’re growing up, kid. Soon you won’t need me anymore.”
“The fuck I won’t!” Calvin shouted. “Jesus, man! We’ve fucking talked about this! I’m not just gonna take you down to the daycare centre like this Toy Story 3 or some shit. You’re coming with me!”
Hobbes shook his head. “They always say that. I can’t let it happen again. I can’t go back to being just another raggedy toy tiger for some kid to puke on. Do you know how old that gets, Calvin? Do you?”
He looked at the boy sadly. “This time, you’re coming with me, Cal. It’s going to end here. Today. Isn’t this how you’d want to die, Calvin? Out on an adventure with your best friend?”
Calvin shook his head in terror. “Hobbes, please, Hobbes, man, you have to come home with me!” He looked around wildly. “We came from, uh… What…” By now, their footprints had completely disappeared.
“It’s over, kid,” Hobbes said gently, “Too late. This is where it ends. C’mere and give me a hug.”
Calvin started sobbing. “This is fucked, man. This is so fucked up. I’m just a kid, dude. I’m too young to die.”
Hobbes put his arms around him and hugged him tightly. “No one’s ever too young to die, Calvin,” he whispered in his ear.
AUUUUGH WHAT THE FUCK
(via unwashed-lederhosen)
